Fleur finally found a place where my kids can’t reach her. Smart kitty.
1) A boy telling you you’re pretty won’t make you see the beauty in the fullness of your cheeks, in redness of your lips at 2 in the morning when tequila is making the bar bathroom spin. He can’t take away the ugliness that you see in yourself, you have to do that.
2) You have to be ready to hear someone say they love you. You have to be ready, and you have to be willing, and you have to listen. Because sometimes, they won’t say those three words, they’ll put a blanket over you while you’re watching a movie, they’ll kiss your cheek when they think you’re asleep, they’ll smile when they see you first thing in the morning. But you, you have to be willing to see it, feel it, let it in. Letting someone love you takes practice.
3) Don’t make compromises you can’t live with. Compromise is a different version of what you want, not a whole other Universe.
4) Learn to say no. No - to a movie you don’t want to watch; no - to sex you don’t want to have, no- to a relationship that’s driving you mad. Say no - to things that hurt you, to people that extinguish your fire, to jobs you hate and places that are desolate. There are bad things that we can’t control, bad things that happen and we are sucked into and have to feel with every fibre of our being, but the rest - learn to distance yourself, learn to say no.
5) Don’t expect people to walk through fire for you - not your parents, not your friends, not the person you’re in love with. Love doesn’t mean sacrifice, love shouldn’t mean sacrifice. Don’t expect someone to give away pieces of them, so they could fit you better. And don’t feel hurt when they refuse to - it’s self-preservation. Instead - learn from them. Do it as well.
6) Don’t tether yourself to people. Learn to make connections, to love, with both your feet steady on the ground. Learn to let people pass through your life; like a summer breeze, not a storm that’s just been unleashed.
7) Learn the difference between growth and growing up before it’s too late. Rooftops and water fights and ice cream for breakfast can be a part of your life at 10, 25, or 35. But by the time you’re 35 you need to learn to say enough, to be able to walk away, you need to be able to love yourself. Love yourself the way you loved yourself at 10, before the world had a chance to fill your head with ugliness."
if anyone ever asks me what orange is the new black is about i will send them these pictures without any context or explanation
- Matty Healy (talking about the cinematic impact of our generation)
Or, “How You Know You Are In An Abusive Relationship 101”
My mom absolutely refused to let me see this movie and once I actually saw it, i saw why
That’s the most chilling possible comment on this post.
"why do you like floral prints so much" because i’m not a person. secretly i’m just a mass of bees. trying to blend in with humans. unable to let go of my love of flowers
At the tender age of fifteen, an event occurred which I still consider to be way up there in my most humiliating please-kill-me-now moments (and there are quite a few to choose from). My then-boyfriend Matt had earlier announced to a friend in an English class that we had had sex. This became a rumor which was overheard by teacher who apparently became concerned about my reputation. Cue the school nurse pulling me out of a science class, leaving everyone speculating that I must be pregnant, resulting in me sitting opposite the nurse and deputy head while they looked at me with utter disdain and asked me:
“So.. what exactly did you get up to with Matt?”
Expecting no more than a lecture, a few leaflets on sexually transmitted diseases and maybe a free condom if I was lucky, I made the very poor decision to just be honest. Unfortunately, I got quite a lot more than I bargained for. The school later called up my mum and told her the details of the conversation, which I thought had been in confidence. But even worse, they had also reported it to social services because they thought I was promiscuous and at risk.
At my school, apparently it was OK for teachers to listen to students’ gossip and label me as ‘promiscuous’ based on nothing more than rumor. Apparently it was OK to go behind my back to speak to my mum and social services, without even asking me how I felt about the whole issue. Apparently it was OK to make me feel ashamed and humiliated about having sex.
When the teacher first overheard Matt talking about us having sex – did they assume he was promiscuous? Of course not. Were social services informed just because he had decided to have sex? Not a chance. Had they even considered that he could be vulnerable? No way. The teacher speaking to him just told him to make sure he ‘put something on the end of it’. We had both done exactly the same thing and yet for me the consequences were much more severe. I either had to be vulnerable or promiscuous if I was having sex as a teen, whereas for Matt it was completely normal. The message was very clear – if you’re a girl having sex as a teenager, you’re a slut. If you’re a boy having sex – well, you’re just a boy."